I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
