No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
