Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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