Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
