You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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