Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
