margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
