I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
