one two three fourrrrnication!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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