I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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