I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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