Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
