Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
