Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
