YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
