so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize