I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
