Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
