I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So much rum. So many feels.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
