i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
