Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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