I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
