The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
barbara walters just said penis...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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