we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
