But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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