Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
