True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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