We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
