what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
