Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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