update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
