The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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