Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
