she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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