When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize