i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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