Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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