We got so high we made milksteak
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
