Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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