You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
