Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
