That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sobbing to NWA
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
