What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
