I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize