but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
