worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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