Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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