Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize