Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
