She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
