im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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