It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
