Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
