you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
