I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
