I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
