New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize