Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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