is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
