you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
