I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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