Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize