Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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