Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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