why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
