Even the bartender felt bad for me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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