Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
