I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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