I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize