You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
