I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
