I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I cockslap morals
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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