Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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