I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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